"finding oneself" abroad

topic posted Fri, July 10, 2009 - 4:15 AM by  JM
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Is it my imagination that during a certain period in American history, people sometimes said they were going to Europe to "find themselves," and that people don't say it anymore, but that it was, in fact, generally with reference to Europe and not to some place else, as in, one wouldn't say one was "going to China to find oneself," but almost always to Europe?

When did people say that?
When did they stop?

A google search shows a few instances (mainly ironic), but only a few.

Where did the phrase originate, anyway?
posted by:
JM
offline JM
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  • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

    Fri, July 10, 2009 - 8:33 AM
    I thought people went to someplace like the Himalayas or Death Valley to find themselves. I hadn't thought of it as going to Europe.
    • JM
      JM
      offline 97

      Re: "finding oneself" abroad

      Fri, July 10, 2009 - 10:39 AM
      That's interesting... I've gotten some other interesting responses on my blog...

      So, you're saying one finds oneself in places where one wouldn't possibly be planning to stay? A person finds herself, and then goes... home?
      • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

        Fri, July 10, 2009 - 2:22 PM
        I was thinking more along the lines of where one wouldn't be distracted with neon glare, noise, out of control automobiles, throbbing nightclubs, etc.

        What are the lines in "Wings of Desire?" I found my home and she took me home.

        There's no place like "home"...

        I think people go back to where they came from, but their insides are a whole new terrain.
        • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

          Fri, July 10, 2009 - 2:27 PM
          But there's also an aspect to it of getting away, very specifically, from "family" or from anything "familiar."

          There's some phrase that I can't quite remember… something about you don't find out who you are (what kind of person you are) until you're a stranger. I don't know… I know that's what the phrase means, whether or not any of those words are actually in it.

          You've got to get out of your normal setting, your normal "role" and your normal routine to really find yourself.
  • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

    Mon, July 13, 2009 - 5:36 AM
    I think the European experience came from relatively wealthy Americans going to explore the Continent. Personally, I find it amusing that people using this reference are often staying in posh hotels and surrounded by other Americans and tourists from elsewhere.

    These days, I believe the idea is still there. Perhaps not focused on European experiences and perhaps not using the term, but still being done.

    For myself, a big part of my experience was within the U.S. following the Grateful Dead around the country, but I have had a world of travel experiences in addition to that. The main idea seems to be removing oneself from his or her normal to find out who they are without the trappings and habits of everyday life.

    Without doing further research, I would say the idea was first put out in publication with Thoreau's Walden Pond.
    “I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.”

    • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

      Mon, July 13, 2009 - 6:40 AM
      Do you really think that you have to travel in order to "find yourself?"
      • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

        Mon, July 13, 2009 - 11:43 AM
        I don't necessarily believe "travel" specifically lets one find oneself… however, getting away from the familiar is required. Whether that's sitting in the park alone for an afternoon or travelling to another country. When you're a child and you're tired of your parents treating you like a child, staying with your parents doesn't make them treat you differently.

        There is definitely a "search" involved, and a search generally means "away from the norm." Or else you're going to find that you *are* what others think of you. Not very deep.
        • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

          Mon, July 13, 2009 - 3:03 PM
          I agree absolutely with Duckamuck. That is what I was trying to say in my last post, but perhaps it did not come out coherently. My reference to Thoreau was how he went to the woods to live deliberately. I wouldn't really call that travel.

          But, yes, I believe getting outside of your normal comfort zone seems to help you distinguish what is you and what comes from other people's views and expectations of you. New experiences and challenges help you find strengths in yourself that you might not notice in everyday life.


          • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

            Wed, July 15, 2009 - 6:44 PM
            thanks Heather

            i agree.
            Getting away fromthe regular events and people and scenery.

            I need to do that again.. and am stalling.

            Much is changing her efo r me also so that is good.

            just that break in time and energy refreshes your mind and psyche adn so you can re-engage with a happie rself and small tings have fallen away and people hav e also changed.
        • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

          Thu, July 16, 2009 - 9:01 AM
          Oh my god… is anyone else seeing the "Dianetics" ad in this thread?

          How unbelievably horrible. Just in case when you "find yourself" you discover that you have an alien soul?

          I'm terribly offended by whatever key word combination allowed that to pop up.
          • JM
            JM
            offline 97

            Re: "finding oneself" abroad

            Mon, July 20, 2009 - 12:17 PM
            It must be you. I'm getting "Get a job abroad" (written in German), "Discover British food!" "Learn Self-Confidence!" and "The Regency Residence."
            • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

              Wed, July 22, 2009 - 7:21 AM
              may be too late or non-applicable, but this just came to mind:

              Both Richard Pryor and Dave Chappelle on different occasions discussed – in their stand up or in interviews – how African-Americans need to go to Africa to find themselves. (Find out what "black" means, etc.)

              For Richard Pryor, that was in the '70s and '80s, for Dave Chappelle that was in the last 10 years. That's also a very specific demographic, too, I realize.

              So I don't know if that helps or not.
  • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

    Sat, July 25, 2009 - 1:04 PM
    I was reminded of this post just recently. Two weeks ago, I fractured my ankle and am stuck with a cast and limited mobility. My world has been shrunk to three rooms.

    In a way, I am finding myself again due to the change in circumstances. I am not traveling abroad. I have barely left the house in two weeks. Heck, I cannot even get to my second floor.

    Despite, or perhaps because of my situation, I am learning new things about myself. Of course, it is incredibly boring and I am spending a bit too much time watching television or surfing online. However, I have found a new way of looking at myself.
    • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

      Sun, July 26, 2009 - 4:51 AM
      Well they do say 'a journey beginning with a single hobble'. It is those things that test us, that teach us about ourselves, even if we don't realise it at the time.
    • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

      Sun, July 26, 2009 - 4:53 AM
      How's your ankle feeling Heather? How did you fracture it? I'm really sorry to hear this. :-(
      • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

        Wed, July 29, 2009 - 7:50 AM
        Aleph, thank you for thinking of me. I am sore, but not the unbearable pain that I experienced during the first week or two. On Monday, I actually left the house to get a new cast. I have good days and bad days. I've found that I really need to take it easy. The slightest bit of exertion leaves me sore and exhausted for hours. So, I try to do a little at a time with extended rest periods in between.

        The story of how it happened would be amusing if it didn't hurt so darn much. I was in my kitchen about to cook lunch. I had opened a can of soup and started that on the stove. I had prepared the fixings to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Then, I rinsed the soup can and took it to the back porch to the recycling bin. Somehow, when I turned back to the kitchen, I tripped over a step. I am not quite sure how I could have done it. It is just one little step and I am quite aware that it is there. Although I have tripped on it several times over the years, it never resulted in serious damage as it did this time. I had 3 fractures requiring surgery. Not fun. And, I will be completely non-weight-bearing for another four weeks. You can read more about it on the Random Conversation or FMSA tribes.

    • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

      Fri, July 31, 2009 - 8:41 PM
      ahhh Heather, I have been thinking about you.
      I hope thi sfind syou better each day.

      This morning I dropped in to my friend's store.. she has on a walking cast and a cane. She broke 3 bones in her foot from running into the doorframe at night goign to the bathroom. The ER doc told her that a couple hours earlier he had treated a woman who got up in middle of night for a snack and got a similar injury!! YIKES!!!
  • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

    Wed, July 29, 2009 - 2:05 AM
    One of my great aunts in the early 20th century as a young lady alone traveled by ship and rail around the world. She was expected to keep a log and write notes to be rewritten and published into a book to share her experiences with those who stayed home. She circumvented tthe Earth going to Egypt, Japan, China, and other places.
  • Re: "finding oneself" abroad

    Mon, August 3, 2009 - 10:18 PM
    My great grandpa did something like that, kind of, in 1916.
    But not in Europe --- his family had immigrated from there and the west was more of the ideal.
    He was the star of his family (from scotland) and by 22 he was a very rich man as the head of some huge logging company in Seattle. Then he had a complete nervous breakdown and the doctor ordered him to take a break, take a vacation, take the waters... to go "find himself" and come back with his spirits refreshed.

    He packed up the wife and kid (my grandma) and a couple of relatives and they travelled around Washington, Idaho, Oregon, California and Arizona for 8 months. They caravaned (sp?) in their model Ts and camped and cooked out. Cousin Cookie kept a journal and my mom made fotocopied spiral bound books of it with the fotos as well, (they had cameras). It's really funny, the slang and the writing. It seems like everything was called Ginny --- the car, the cooker, the clothesline, random strangers... "ol' Ginny". Ha ha.

    But he found himself. He ended up homesteading a few thousand acres in Arizona --- I don't know how it worked, but I think it was the Homestead Act ??? He worked for Mr. Wrigley (the gum dude) here in LA, and then for a few months of the year he had to go to Arizona in order to keep his claim, and he had to do that for a certain number of years.

    In any case, he "found" himself, but it wasn't in Europe. This was in 1916-17 and the doctor's remedy for a nervous disposition.

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