"Perfect sarcasm is a wonderful goal to aspire to."
You mean:
Perfect sarcasm is a wonderful goal to which to aspire.
or
Perfect sarcasm is a wonderful aspirational goal.


Couldn't resist. Sorry

I don't think "perfect sarcasm" should be anyone's goal. Sarcasm is hurtful. I think a better goal would be to eliminate sarcasm altogether. It hurts us as individuals and as a community.

Sarcasm is defined as, "A cutting, often ironic, remark intended to wound. It is a form of wit marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule." Sarcasm can be turned outward (used against another) or turned inward (used against one's Self). No matter which way you direct it, sarcasm is directed contempt. Abusive relationships are often marked by contempt and sarcasm. Personally, I really dislike sarcasm and I beat feet rather than expose myself to it.

I know, I know...sarcasm is only a form of humor. It's a tool. Okay, I get it. But if sarcasm is the only "tool" in your humor toolbox, that's a problem. Hanging out with someone who is sarcastic can be like tap dancing in a mind field. You never know when they are going to go off or why. Like landmines, the triggers of sarcasm lie hidden out of sight, usually deep within the psyche of the speaker. People who use sarcasm regularly and with malice are verbal bullies, "sarcassholes" (for those of you who embrace sarcasm) if you will.

Sarcasm is an act of passive-aggression. It is by its nature provocative. Like poking someone with a stick or waving a flag, the sarcasshole provokes with words. Failure to respond may result in even more ridicule, more sarcasm. Oddly, the mocking contempt of sarcasm can make the recipient feel alternately like you "should" respond, silly if you "didn't" respond, sorry if you "do" respond. The victim cannot win.

Yes, sarcasm can be both witty and intelligent; that's what makes it so brutal. You can bet your ass that the sarcasshole meant to hurt you with their words because sarcasm is a craft, a skill honed by the wordsmith; it rarely happens by accident. It is a tool, wielded with deliberation – like a knife or a gun. Rest assured, if you are plagued by a sarcasshole, they know what they are doing. They need you to do it. Sarcasm has to have a fall guy to even exist. If you are in the presence of a sarcasshole, you could end up the fall guy. That's just the risk. A hunter is not a hunter without prey.

You cannot be unguarded, you cannot feel safe, around a sarcasshole.

Our goal should be healthy interdependent relationships. We want friends who are allies. Well, with all alliances, it is necessary to negotiate boundaries. "Here is what I am willing to do, and here is what I need from you." Personally, I draw the line at malicious sarcasm. It's not made more "perfect" if I didn't realize someone was "intending to wound" me. The intention to wound is still there. And that's the problem ...

If we want to enjoy smooth travels with those who share our journey, it is necessary to communicate, share feelings and negotiate agreements about behavior. Sarcasm interferes with all these goals. The more I examine it, the more I think we'd be better off without sarcasm altogether.